Love at Home

Charity is a disposition, it starts with a decision and is developed over time: "And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ" (2 Thessalonians 3:5). Charity focuses on others, not on self. Charity does come with some prerequisites (2 Peter 1:3-7): faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, and brotherly kindness (a.k.a., philia). "Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned" (1 Timothy 1:5).

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. (1 John 4:7-12)

Charity does not depend on the other person "returning the favor" (Romans 12:13, 17, 20). Charity requires us to "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). Moreover, to love is to give: "For God so loved the world, that he gave" (John 3:16). Charity will also drive a Christian to intercede on the behalf of others; intercession is sorely lacking in the church. Job learned through his trial to not only pray for his family but to pray for his friends as well. Under the New Covenant, exhortation is given that "supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; for kings, and for all that are in authority" (1 Timothy 2:1-2). Notice, even, that Christians are required to love those that set themselves as our enemies: bless them, do good to them, and pray for them. Ask God for life for them: "if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth" (2 Timothy 2:25).

The love of God comes with correction: "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth" (Hebrews 12:6). We cannot say we love our brother and not bring correction when we see him doing wrong or, better yet, before he does wrong. Knowing that "he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons" (Colossians 3:25). In addition, "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Hebrews 10:31). Therefore, since charity "Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth" (1 Corinthians 13:6), "if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted" (Galatians 6:1). The person that resists correction is operating in pride not love: "A scorner loveth not one that reproveth him: neither will he go unto the wise" (Proverbs 15:12). "For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved" (John 3:20).

Ultimately, the love of God is expressed when we keep his commandments through faith: "to obey is better than sacrifice" (1 Samuel 15:22). It should be noted that the reverse is not necessarily true: if we keep his commandments, we love God. "But without faith it is impossible to please him" (Hebrews 11:6). The love of God through faith drives obedience by the Spirit of God (Ezekiel 36:27); obedience by itself (without faith), however, does not drive the love of God. The love of God is defined as the faith of a Christian in God expressed through obedience to the Word of God. The love of God is not an emotion. Though the love of God may elicit strong emotion, it is not emotion and should never be confused with such carnal stimuli. If love is an emotion and God is love, then God is reduced to being an emotion, and he most assuredly is not. God is constant, however, emotions are not constant: they fluctuate like the waves in the sea.

As defined by Paul in his first letter to Timothy, the home is a proving ground for those that desire to serve the Lord in formal leadership: "One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God)" (1 Timothy 3:4-5)? In addition, Christian marriages are a similitude of our marriage with Jesus Christ; and they are the first avenue through which we are to "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth" (Genesis 1:28). Replenish the earth with more Christians "created in righteousness and true holiness" (Ephesians 4:24). What's more, spiritual fruit must also be developed and reproduced: "Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit" (John 15:8). Spiritual fruit is the evidence that we are in right standing with God through his Word. Any area of disobedience including pride, fear, hatred, judgment, doubt, unbelief, anxiety, or discontent is an area in which we are not in right standing with God: we do not love God and we do not love his Word. "He that hateth me hateth my Father also" (John 15:23). We are told that bearing fruit is absolutely necessary; else we will be destroyed. "If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned" (John 15:6). "For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness. What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death" (Romans 6:20-21). Therefore, when we call upon the name of Jesus, we declare our exclusive allegiance to God and his Word in order to be fruitful—produce the outward evidence of God in us—and bring others back into a right relationship with the Lord. In essence, we are fulfilling the spiritual side of the first commandment uttered at the creation of man: "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth" (Genesis 1:28).

In this chapter we will examine several topics related to love in Christian relationships (pre-marital and marital) and in Christian parenting. "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned" (Song of Solomon 8:7). These topics include: "Christian Dating"; "Marriage and Divorce"; "The Role of Husbands"; "The Role of Wives"; and we examine "Parenting—Nurture & Admonition" to conclude the chapter.

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