Lack of Charity

"Many people (perhaps most people in and past middle age) think of themselves as in some way finished. And on the finished entity we place impossible demands. For example, we are told that we must love everyone—an absurd and impossible command [in the natural] if there ever was one. What believers tend to do, then, is to lay on themselves the necessity to love without first realizing that they have to learn slowly and painfully how to do it."¹¹³ The spirit of hypocrisy has many Christians and Christian leaders loving in word and in tongue. They sing, "It's love, it's love, it's love that makes the world go round ..." The love, however, that they are expressing is not charity, the perfected love of God (a.k.a., agape love); that is, voluntary, unconditional, and self-sacrificing love. "My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth" (1 John 3:18). "Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good" (Romans 12:9). At best, it is compassionate love (a.k.a., philia or storge): fondness through familiarity; that is, friendship, affection (familial love), mutually satisfying love. At worst, it is passionate love (a.k.a., eros): the love of the world; that is, conditional and self-satisfying love, which is not really love at all but lust. The definition of lust is the desire for self-gratification most often immediately. The love of the world is simply pride and lust in disguise: "for all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world" (1 John 2:16). The love of the world tends to be fleeting and in a constant state of flux. More often than not, both compassionate and passionate love can be simply performance or obligation (involuntary). Compassionate and passionate love both often demand reciprocity: you do for me and I'll do for you, or I'll do for you as long as I believe I'll get something in return. "We live in a competitive society, and there is only so much wealth to go round. Any fool knows that the things of this world are diminished by sharing. ... Love is the one 'commodity' that is not diminished by sharing. In fact, it is increased. But that takes a lot of believing."¹¹⁴ After all, true love is of God; therefore, without Christ, the world cannot truly express charity. "Unless I know the one who loves me, I have no way of responding, no way of learning how to love in return. I need a model of love. I need an example, a paradigm. A paradigm is simply a key pattern through which minor patterns are interpreted and coordinated."¹¹⁵

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. (1 John 4:7-12)

Charity is a disposition, it starts with a decision and is developed over time through obedience to God's Word: "But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him" (1 John 2:5). "And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ" (2 Thessalonians 3:5). Charity focuses on others, not on self. Charity does come with some prerequisites: faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, and brotherly kindness (a.k.a., philia). "Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned" (1 Timothy 1:5).

According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. (2 Peter 1:3-7)

In the "Sermon on the Mount," Jesus expressed the difference between charity (v 44) and philia love (v 46).

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. (Matthew 5:44-45)

For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? (Matthew 5:44-46)

Charity does not depend on the other person "returning the favor" (Romans 12:13, 17, 20). Charity requires us to "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). Charity will also drive a Christian to intercede on the behalf of others; intercession is sorely lacking in the church. Job learned through his trial to not only pray for his family but to pray for his friends as well. Under the New Covenant, exhortation is given that "supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; for kings, and for all that are in authority" (1 Timothy 2:1-2). Notice, even, that Christians are required to love those that set themselves as our enemies: bless them, do good to them, and pray for them. Ask God for life for them: "if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth" (2 Timothy 2:25; see also 1 John 5:11-12, 16-17). "Our approach to God is due entirely to the vicarious identification of our Lord with sin ... We have to realize that the identification of Jesus with sin means the radical alteration of all our sympathies. Vicarious intercession means that we deliberately substitute God's interests in others for our natural sympathy with them."¹¹⁶ "Are we living in such a vital relationship to our fellow men that we do the work of intercession as the Spirit-taught children of God?"¹¹⁷ "If we are not heedful of the way the Spirit of God works in us, we will become spiritual hypocrites. We see where other folks are failing, and we turn our discernment into the gibe of criticism instead of into intercession on their behalf. The revelation is made to us not through the acuteness of our minds, but by the direct penetration of the Spirit of God, and if we are not heedful of the source of the revelation, we will become criticizing centres and forget that God says—'he shall ask, and He shall give him life for them that sin not unto death.' [(1 John 5:16)] Take care lest you play the hypocrite by spending all your time trying to get others right before you worship God yourself."¹¹⁸

Ultimately, the love of God is expressed when we keep his commandments through faith: "to obey is better than sacrifice" (1 Samuel 15:22). It should be noted that the reverse is not necessarily true: if we keep his commandments, we love God. "But without faith it is impossible to please him" (Hebrews 11:6). The love of God through faith drives obedience by the Spirit of God (Ezekiel 36:27); obedience by itself (without faith), however, does not drive the love of God. The love of God is defined as the faith of a Christian in God expressed through obedience to the Word of God. The Christian's love for God should drive them to reject anything that would keep them from following Christ—from being conformed to his image. The love of God is not an emotion. Though the love of God may elicit strong emotion, it is not emotion and should never be confused with such carnal stimuli. If love is an emotion and God is love, then God is reduced to being an emotion, and he most assuredly is not. "If I love my Lord I have no business to be guided by natural temperament; ... Beware of counterfeiting the love of God by working along the line of natural human sympathy, because that will end in blaspheming the love of God."¹¹⁹ God is constant, however, emotions are not constant: they fluctuate like the waves in the sea. Strong emotions led many of the Jews to praise Jesus and then, shortly thereafter, turn around and demand that he be killed:

And a very great multitude spread their garments in the way; others cut down branches from the trees, and strawed them in the way. And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest. (Matthew 21:8-9)

But they cried, saying, Crucify him, crucify him. (Luke 23:21)

God is a Spirit and God is love; thus, love is a spirit: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7); "because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us" (Romans 5:5). We have to abandon natural relationships in order to realize the personal sovereign preference for Jesus Christ Himself. "Then Peter said, Lo, we have left all, and followed thee" (Luke 18:28). Oswald Chambers expounds further:

When we come up against the barriers of natural relationship, where is Jesus Christ? Most of us desert Him—"Yes, Lord, I did hear Thy call; but my mother is in the road, my wife, my self-interest, and I can go no further." "Then," Jesus says, "you cannot be My disciple."

The test of abandonment is always over the neck of natural devotion. Go over it, and God's own abandonment will embrace all those you had to hurt in abandoning. Beware of stopping short of abandonment to God. Most of us know abandonment in vision only.¹²⁰

We have to forsake all (Luke 14:33) and give all our love, exclusively (100%), to the Lord: for he has already given us his love (1 John 4:19), which we are to use to love our neighbors (family, friends, associates, enemies, etc.) and ourselves. "And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these" (Mark 12:30-31). We were created to love God: to fall in love with him. "What happens when we fall in love? We go a little bit crazy. We find our world is infused with beauty. Without any effort on our part, we find ourselves thinking about our loved one all the time. When we wake up in the morning, when we go to sleep at night, at work, at play, that person is there; he or she is a constant presence in our life and a source of endless wonder and delight. We cannot simply stop working and spend all our time with our beloved; we cannot abandon the seemingly infinite number of tedious chores that daily life requires. But suddenly these things seem less burdensome, because they are emotionally shared. Oddly enough, the same thing happens in our relationship to God, if we let it. If we reposition ourselves toward God, even though we cannot look directly into the Sun of Love, we can feel the light flooding into our life."¹²¹

What's more, God "sent his word" (Psalm 107:20), and his Word is spirit and his Word is truth (John 6:63; John 17:7). Thus, to "worship [God] in spirit and in truth" (John 4:24) requires that we get to know him intimately through his Word. "And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent" (John 17:3). Jesus says, "If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him" (John 14:7). Finally, John reiterates, "But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him" (1 John 2:5). Moreover, his Word has to become precious to us: more precious than any other thing. "Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding. For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her" (Proverbs 3:13-15). Intimate knowledge of God requires that our spirits (hearts), souls (minds) and bodies are all in synch with the Word of God (Romans 12:1-2). In other words, we have to be in right standing with God through his Word: we have to be rightly related to God by his Word. "If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples. As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full" (John 15:7-11). "Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit"; because fruit is the evidence that we are in right standing with God through his Word. Any area of disobedience including pride, fear, hatred, judgment, doubt, unbelief, anxiety, or discontent is an area in which we are not in right standing with God: we do not love God and we do not love his Word. "He that hateth me hateth my Father also" (John 15:23). When we examine the love of God—charity—as defined in 1 Corinthians 13, we can make direct correlations between the listed attributes and the fruit of the Spirit: "is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law" (Galatians 5:22-23). Love "seeketh not her own" and "never faileth"; joy "rejoiceth in the truth"; peace "thinketh no evil"; longsuffering "suffereth long" and "endureth all things"; gentleness "envieth not" and "is kind"; goodness "rejoiceth not in iniquity"; faith "believeth all things, hopeth all things"; meekness "beareth all things" and "vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up"; and temperance "doth not behave itself unseemly" and "is not easily provoked." Moreover, to love is to give: "For God so loved the world, that he gave" (John 3:16). Thus, our giving out of a pure heart is an expression of our love for our neighbor; for "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).

We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death. Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him. Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. (1 John 3:14-19)

Thus, the answer from a Christian to "Do you love the Lord?" should be "Yes, I believe and obey all of his Word by the Spirit of God that dwells in me, I am content with such things as I have 'for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee' (Hebrews 13:5), I give to those in need, and I willingly offer my pride and lust (my flesh) to be crucified for I am not afraid of the persecution that comes from the world for I am assured that 'In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; [Jesus has] overcome the world' (John 16:33)." Finally, the love of God comes with correction: "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth" (Hebrews 12:6). We cannot say we love our brother and not bring correction when we see him doing wrong or, better yet, before he does wrong. Knowing that "he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons" (Colossians 3:25). In addition, "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God" (Hebrews 10:31). Therefore, since charity "Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth" (1 Corinthians 13:6), "if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted" (Galatians 6:1). The person that resists correction is operating in pride not love: "A scorner loveth not one that reproveth him: neither will he go unto the wise" (Proverbs 15:12). "For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved" (John 3:20).

We know that the love of God is the highest path we can travel: "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity" (1 Corinthians 13:13). Thus, derivatives of the love of God such as respect, honor, submission, obedience, being kind, and being nice, must function as does the love of God. "Be nice" is often used in the world to mean "don't correct me, placate me." Alan Jones explains being nice as:

One of the most damaging things about the popular view of love is that it requires being nice all the time. ... Being nice is closely allied, of course, to being liked. The two go together. If I'm not nice you won't like me, and if you don't like me then there is no chance of love springing up between us. This kind of reasoning breeds dishonesty because it means 'love' becomes a code word for avoiding confrontation or disagreement. True love requires a strict and accurate regard for truth. We live in an age that would prefer the smooth lie to the hard truth.¹²²

Christians in support of "being nice" will rattle off: "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love." Let us, however, look at the entire verse: "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends" (Proverbs 17:9). "A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter" (Proverbs 11:13). So, the verse is really talking about not spreading rumors or telling secrets, not about ignoring sin. "Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth. As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife. The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly" (Proverbs 26:20-22). In addition, "covering a transgression" has to be interpreted in light of other scriptures:

These things also belong to the wise. It is not good to have respect of persons in judgment. He that saith unto the wicked, Thou are righteous; him shall the people curse, nations shall abhor him: But to them that rebuke him shall be delight, and a good blessing shall come upon them. (Proverbs 24:23-25)

Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful ... As in water face answereth to face, so the heart of man to man. (Proverbs 27:5-6, 19)

Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. (Luke 17:3)

Thus, it is deceitful and idolatrous to claim to love your neighbor if that love does not include correction (Matthew 18:15-22 details the prescribed process to follow among laity). What's more, being nice also requires repentance for hate, since, "Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him" (Leviticus 19:17). Of course, before we can bring correction to anyone, we must first examine ourselves and present our sins to the Lord for forgiveness: we have to cast out the beam in our own eye first. "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye" (Matthew 7:3-5). Alan Jones concludes that "in the name of caring for each other we often do everything we can to diffuse one another's passion. We are embarrassed by strong expressions of emotions. Love, therefore, can easily become a device for avoiding unpleasantness and denying tragedy. In the name of love we tend to deny 'pity, joy, grief, and passion' and all for the sake of an egocentric 'peace.' ... Love is reduced to niceness and the passion and the grief are driven underground."¹²² He further concludes that "the task of love is to help us rid ourselves of the exoskeleton, to lay us bare, to set us free."¹²³

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